WHAT to give your brother for his birthday? Some people take the easy route and give money or a voucher. Not Tim Scarborough. Next month his brother Andrew will celebrate his 44th birthday. Tim's gift is no token gesture. If all goes to plan, in a few weeks' time the brothers will lie side by side in Guy's Hospital, London, as Tim gives Andrew one of his kidneys.
Andrew, who runs a post office in rural Kent with his wife Hayley, has been on and off dialysis since 1985. After an 11-month wait, he had a kidney transplant in 1986. Four years later his body rejected it.

'About ten years ago I had another transplant,' he says. 'But the doctors removed it after a few months because it wasn't working.'
Andrew currently self-dialyses for five hours, three times a week, losing up to 3kg each time. Although he describes his life and career as 'reasonably successful', the regime is tiring and he has noticed a decline in his overall fitness since the last transplant. He has also started getting side-effects from long-term dialysis.

'That's what prompted me to ask Tim,' he says. 'Although he's long since said he was happy to help, I put off asking him for ten or twelve years. The risks involved are not great (the op won't reduce Tim's physical wellbeing so long as his one kidney stays healthy) but still it's not something you ask for easily.

'I wasn't surprised when he said "yes". But I did push him on the question as to whether this was the right time for him from his family's point of view – he's just become a dad for the second time.

'If the transplant is successful, then it'll be a whole different ball game in terms of my physical strength, and I'll get back the two days a week I currently spend on dialysis.

'I'm living half a life at the moment. My son, Daniel, is 15. He's never known me not to be on dialysis. My condition has made it difficult to do everything I wanted to do with him. Like me when I was young, he's into football and rugby in a big way. It would have been great to have trained with him, but it hasn't been possible. If the new kidney allows me to do that, it'll be fantastic.'

Tim, as Andrew explains, is very matter-of-fact about his offer.

'When Andrew was first diagnosed I was aware of living donors,' says Tim. 'I suggested to my parents that I gave him one of my kidneys. But they said that Andrew didn't want to put anyone through it.

'In December 2004 Andrew rang, said he was starting to get the long-term effects of dialysis and basically asked if my offer was still open. He said he'd understand perfectly if I said "no". He tried everything to put me off.

'I didn't have to think about it. I'd made the decision 20 years ago. I said, "Yeah, what do we have to do?"'

As well as being a freelance percussionist, Tim runs a Christian retreat centre in rural Worcestershire with his wife Caroline. How did she react when he came off the phone?

'She was fine. She knows who I am and how I am. There's probably a tension for her between a pride in someone she loves being prepared to do something like this and a concern about the possible outcome. The doctors are very upfront. They tell you that one of the risks, albeit minimal, is death.

'I find it difficult to think about what might go wrong because I'm a pathological optimist. It doesn't make any sense that anything should go wrong.

'I don't see myself as being noble or courageous. Andrew needs a kidney and I've got one to spare. It's as simple as that.'

But what if his one remaining kidney should fail, how can he put himself at risk?

'I'm given to understand that one kidney failing is very rare, so I don't see it as putting myself at risk. Consequently, I don't regard myself as doing anything for which I might later incur blame. I certainly wouldn't blame myself.

'Life is a dodgy process at the best of times. We have to get on with it. If I find myself on dialysis in the future, well it could have happened anyway. Caroline, our six-year-old daughter Eve and I are united on this. It is the right thing for me to do and an appropriate risk to take.

'It's hard to explain but I sense that I've benefited from the prayers of generations of Christians in our family. There have been moments in my life when I am convinced I should have died. I was in a bad car crash, for instance. I am happy to accept that God is interested enough in me to look after my best interests.

'I don't believe God would have set it up for me to be the perfect donor for Andrew and then cause it to mean a major hardship for me in the future. Having said that, if it does become a major hardship, that won't mean I'll give up believing in God and that he cares for me.
by Major Nigel Bovey, March 25, 2006
Editor of The War Cry, UK

Update: The transplant took place as scheduled April 18, 2006. Andrew's body accepted Tim's kidney and everything is looking good.

Andrew and Tim are the nephews of Colonels Robert and Gwenyth Redhead. There mom is Major Joy Scarborough (sister of Gwenyth). Their dad died in May, 2002.