Two teenagers offer words of advice on dating, relationships and love

Why do teenagers date? Supposedly to find out what type of person they want to be with for the rest of their lives. While that may be true, with pop culture, bad environments and self-centred thinking, dating has really strayed from that point. Many teenagers today look for "love," but will settle for pretty much anything in the form of a relationship. They turn to their hormones instead of to God. Yet who else would have the best dating advice?
Recently, a friend was relating her feelings of loneliness and how she wished she had a boyfriend just so she could cope. The conversation took a surprising turn as we discussed how just having a relationship was not as important as being part of a relationship that glorifies God, although this is actually a fairly common belief with girls and boys our age. The time between childhood and the point where we're officially considered 'adults,' and expected to be regular contributing members of society, is not an easy one. It can be riddled with confusion over identity and feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.

It's sad to think that so many young people make huge mistakes in their relationships that really put a dent in their spirits, influence their future and impact their walk with God. We know these feelings are there and even recognize them in ourselves. Somehow, teenage girls often seek validation through other people, as if who they are meant to be depends on the guy they are dating. As Christians, our identity is found in Jesus Christ, and who we are as individuals comes second to who we are as children of God.

We wish there was a simple fix to the problem, but it's not that easy. There's no medicine you can take that suddenly gets rid of all the doubt, loneliness and temptation. However, knowing Jesus' love plays a huge role. Not that you can simply tell a group of teenagers that Jesus loves them and then expect everything to suddenly be OK. But recognizing and embracing God's unconditional love can help young people get through the tough times.

How To Help Your Teens

Is someone you know experiencing teenage relationship issues? You can help them understand that God has more in store for them and guide them toward a brighter future.

Here's some advice you could offer to young people who are going through rough times:

• Encourage them to ask God, "Am I going too fast? Is this person helping me grow or bringing me a few steps down the ladder of life?"

• Help them see the need to keep their heads and hearts open and listen for God's voice, knowing that his way is best.

• Assure them that God will help them find the perfect person who brings out the best in them, even if it means waiting or being the only one without a date.

• Tell them they don't need to feel pressured into making bad decisions, but that they can decide for themselves what's best for their future, with God's help.

• If things don't work out and they're involved in a breakup, encourage them to think of it not as the ending of an old relationship but the beginning of something new.

• If they're having a hard time getting over a boyfriend or girlfriend, help them focus on the future instead of the past--the good and not the bad. Suggest that perhaps God wants to make way for someone even better who can be exactly what they need.

• Help them understand that they can use post-break-up time to reflect on who they are and what kind of person God wants them to be. Show them that they can use this time to strengthen their relationship with God by spending more time in prayer and listening to God's voice.