How to help your child succeed and grow in the coming year

Hey, that’s my toy!” Evan yells.
“No, it’s not!” Nathan shoots back. “You’re just trying to get me into trouble.”
“Mommm … Nathan took my toy,” Evan shouts from the backyard, to the delight of all our neighbours, I’m sure.
“I did not,” whines Nathan.

Those “lazy days of summer” have turned into every parent’s nightmare. If I hear those two boys fighting one more time I’m going to go absolutely bonkers! Yes, I know, I said I couldn’t wait for those dreamy days of endless fun in the sun. I take it back. I need to go to work. I need a rest from my vacation. Thankfully, school is just around the corner.
Yet school brings its own set of worries. Even though they call it public school, the costs add up. There are new clothes to buy, school supplies, backpacks, pencil boxes, and don’t forget the right lunch bag. It has to be cool-not one of those “baby” ones. When you figure in the peer pressure to have all the right accessories, such as iPods and cellphones, what’s a parent to do?

Of course, there are more than just the financial costs. School brings a different sort of peer pressure to our kids. My work as an Army officer in our community brings me in touch with issues that scare the parent in me-bullying, drugs (yes, even in elementary school), early sexual experimentation.

Parents today have a lot to be concerned about when they watch their children board the bus in the morning. There are options, of course-Christian school, home school, moving out to the middle of nowhere. But, for some parents, considering these options is as far as they get.

Parental Stress 101
What can a parent do when faced with the realities of our public school system? First of all, pray. It seems simple, but prayer is the most important thing we can do when sending our children out into the world. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Here are a few other suggestions to help calm your nerves as you send your kids back to school:
• Get involved in your child’s school. Students whose parents are involved perform better in school. Some employers will allow flexible schedules to accommodate this. Otherwise, volunteering at evening concerts or attending parent meetings is a good start.
• Communicate regularly with your child’s teacher. Most teachers are online and the occasional e-mail can help you keep tabs on how your children are faring.
• Learn all you can about the issues that your children face. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to help them cope.

Making the Grade
Children have a big adjustment to make as the new school year gets closer. Who will be in their new class? Will they like their new teacher? What should they wear? These tips can help your child have a better back-to-school experience:
• Keep things positive. If you’re excited and confident that they will do well, your children will adopt the same attitude.
• Arrange with another parent to travel to school together. Your child will have someone to share the excitement with and talk to along the way.
• Let kids pick out a new outfit for the first day of school. This gives them something to look forward to.
• Let kids make their lunch and pack their favourite treat for the first day. I put little encouragement cards in their lunch bags (for example, “I’m proud of you” or “I know you can do it”).
• Put aside extra time in the evening before bed to spend with your children, listening to them talk about their day.

It’s not easy being a parent these days and even scarier being a child. Thank God we have his promises to see us through. Here is one I lean on daily: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV).

by Major Kathie Chiu
Corps Officer and Executive Director of The Caring Place Ministries, Mountain View Community Church, Maple Ridge, B.C.

Online Resources
• sedl.org/pubs/catalog/items/fam33.html
• momsintouch.org
• crosswalk.com/parenting
• christianitytoday.com/parenting

Reprinted from Salvationist, September 2007