Today we live in a world of darkness in which even our secular problem-solvers are beginning to stumble. In spite of our “social conscience,” all around us is evidence of Satan and his dark imaginings.

Romans 2:19 tells us that we, as Christians, are “a light for those who are in the dark.” But what about those of us who are Christians, who have professed that God so loved the world that He sent His own son, but who have fallen into a pit of darkness?

I began my journey, as a Christian on February 28, 1993. I was an active church member. I read my Bible faithfully. I had earned a Master’s degree. I was the proud mother of a beautiful daughter and was surrounded by a loving family. The future looked extremely bright.

Lost Light
Although I appeared to “have it all together,” I had become lukewarm in my faith after consistently serving my Lord and Savior for over a decade. I had read my Bible and was fully aware of God’s warning. Revelations 3:15-16 tells us, “I know your deeds, that you were neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

Because I was neither hot nor cold, I allowed Satan to enter my life with a vengeance.

In my “sin-sick” state of mind, I was repeatedly compromising my morals and values as well as everything that I believed and represented as a child of God. I no longer had a lamp unto my feet lit by God’s Word. My batteries were completely dead. I began to recharge my life with alcohol and crack cocaine.

Enslaved

At this point in my life, I had become a full blown addict suffering from a horrific, unrelenting disease called addiction. I had allowed myself to become enslaved by the Devil and plummeted into a downward spiral of sin.

My life became unmanageable and totally out of control. I was consumed with a plethora of negative, destructive emotions including guilt, pain, anger, shame, fear and doubt. I was officially engaged in a “spiritual warfare.” I constantly grappled with how to begin to turn my life back over to God. Would He even want me back?

Of course He did! And all I had to do was ask. God had never left me-I left Him. God was as eager to hear my pleas as He was to hear the trials and tragedies that drove the people in the Old Testament.

Oftentimes, mysterious providences darken and attempt to ruin our lives. I was faced with afflictions that I do not, nor even attempt, to understand. The disease of addiction was being applied for the sole purpose of destroying my life. God’s love and mercy spared me from countless disasters and consequences like AIDS, prison, victimization from heinous crimes, numerous suicide attempts, homelessness, fatal overdoses, automobile accidents and bullets, to name a few. He spared me because He loves me and has a bigger plan for my life.

ARC Miracle
My wise Physician knew my disease would ruin me if remained unchecked, and He applied the remedy of the Salvation Army’s Adult Rehabilitation Center (ARC) located in Dayton, Ohio. Captains Doug and Bethannie Dolder, their staff, as well as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ there are filled with the ever present beauty of the Lord. God is using the men and women at the ARC to work miracles in the lives of those who suffer from the evil disease of addiction. God used the ARC and its godly followers to deliver and heal me.

Today I awake each morning in awe of God’s love. I am grateful for each breath God allows me to inhale and I rejoice in my sufferings of the past. Romans 5:3 tells us to rejoice in our sufferings because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. I am certainly overflowing with hope today. God is taking me, a.k.a “unruly clay,” and fashioning and forming me into His wise ways. I have fallen deeply in love with Jesus Christ and my life will never be the same.

All of It
Not only did God shape me before my birth, but He planned every day of my life to support His shaping process. Psalm 139:16 states, “Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Nothing in my life, past, present or future, is insignificant. God is using all of it, the good, bad and ugly, to mold me for service unto Him.

I believe God has given me a life message to share. I refuse to allow Satan to keep me silent. I have a storehouse of experience, strength and hope that God wants me to use to bring others into His family. The Bible says in 1 John 5:10, “Those who believe in the Son of God have the testimony of God in them.”

Sharing my testimony after residing in the ebb and flow of humanity that streams through the dark sewers of the disease of addiction, plagued by constant pain and suffering, is my one true purpose.

God is still in the business of performing miracles and, by His grace, there lies a miracle in me.

by Tina Hibbard

Tina R. Hibbard lives in Dayton, Ohio.

Reprinted with permission of U.S. War Cry