Four things to look for in a spiritual mentor

Do you Google? By searching the Internet using the Google website, you can get millions of solutions to any problem you may be facing. Answers can come from someone you don't know and will never meet. So how do you decide what is reliable? Whose advice do you trust?

This past year, my wife and I bought a house. I love carpentry, but I'm no expert. Fortunately, in our church we have a skilled and experienced carpenter who I bug for ideas and concepts for my home. I could read books, surf the net or watch home improvement TV shows, but it doesn't compare to the expertise of my friend. He gives me ideas that are tested and true, he helps me hone my skills and he takes the time to ask how the project is going. He saves me time and money, calms my frustration and helps me when I get stuck on a problem.

In the same way, mentors in the Army have helped build and repair my spiritual life, my life as a husband and even my life as a pastor. Mentoring gives us a chance to hear about another person's life experiences and gain from their wisdom. In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul had knowledge and experience to share with Timothy who needed someone to walk alongside him to encourage, listen and teach. No matter how much education or experience you have, there is always room to grow.

Here are four qualities for a good mentoring relationship:

1. A mentor is trustworthy. Have you ever have one of those crazy ideas that you think no one else in the world would understand? Or maybe you have feelings of doubt and frustration that poison your faith? A mentor is someone you can trust to keep your conversations private and not to judge you. It may take months or years for you to develop this kind of trust, but it's worth it.

2. A mentor is honest. A mentor is someone who can tell you when you are wrong and give you advice on decisions. Some mentors are better at this than others. I bounce some crazy ideas off my pastor all the time. Sometimes he'll give me that 'you're crazy' look, and other times he tells me to go for it. Choose a mentor who will give you honest feedback. The relationship must be real.

3. A mentor has an agenda. This is not the 'hidden agenda' of negative connotations. A mentor has an agenda to make you a wiser person by sharing the mistakes that they have made along the way. Jesus had an agenda with his disciples. One of his purposes was to train them in the faith. When Jesus ascended to Heaven, the disciples used his example to teach others.

4. A mentor has a network. Good mentors know that resources are important, and they probably have mentors of their own and a solid network of Christian people to help keep them grounded. This network could be your church, small group or service club. This network will provide mentors with a continual flow of ideas and support.

Mentoring is integral to the development of your Christian faith. You may already have a mentor in mind. If not, take time to find one. Before you approach somebody, ask God for direction in choosing a mentor. It could be the beginning of a life-long friendship and a life-changing component of your faith journey.

by Jason Guy, Associate Pastor'Minister of Growth and Mission, Edmonton Temple

Eight Questions for Would-Be Mentors

1. Do I really want this? Am I willing to put up with extra work for the sake of the long-term benefit of shared leadership?

2. How can I build a relationship? Leadership is not based on authority as much as on personal connection between people.

3. Do I clearly understand the goal? What specific leadership positions are available? What do I realistically want this person to be and do?

4. How can I assess this potential leader? What makes them tick and gets them excited in ministry? Is this the right time in his or her life for this position?

5. What are the best means for mentoring? What kind of reporting or accountability is effective individually, and on what level of intensity?

6. Am I courageous enough to be honest and clear? How can I help the emerging leader discover his effectiveness and make corrections?

7. What stage of delegation is needed? Is this the time to come near to support or step aside so the new leader can develop confidence?

8. Am I taking care of myself? As a mentor am I modeling balance? Is this relationship mutually beneficial?

Source: ChristianityToday.com